Why I Hate Comics (A Rock And Roll Fables Op-Ed)


Our first comic book post is also going to be our last because after 30+ years of collecting comics, I’m taking a break. No more weekly Wednesday jaunts to the comic store. No more piles of waiting to be read comics on my nightstand. No more piles of cash spent on stuff I feel obligated to buy just because I’ve been buying it for years. Take that as you will.

But here is a guy who is tattooed with some of his favorite characters, used to rage in front of the television as a toddler whenever The Incredible Hulk was on, saw Spider-Man six times in the theater just because Spider-Man WAS ON THE BIG SCREEN, stomped and almost cried the first time Mark Ruffalo “hulked out” on screen in The Avengers and amassed a collection that is currently over the fifteen thousand mark.

And now I’m just bored….it’s the stories and the fans….the people who get all up in arms about Spider-Man being black and the storytellers who make Captain America an Agent of Hydra for shock value and the fans who just don’t understand how theses stories work. You know, when this will be the norm for x amount of issues then back to “classic” just in time for a relaunch or a film release.

Maybe I should’ve realized it when I didn’t voraciously tear apart and devour each new edition of Previews anymore. Maybe when I started looking forward to the latest Archie comic more than anything else? Maybe when DC changed the status quo on Superman and Batman AGAIN? Maybe when Doc Ock took over Peter parker’s body for, like, a year or so? Maybe it was Marvel’s latest event story where it was inevitably delayed…AGAIN.

Nope, I know when it was: When Marvel decided to kill off The Hulk during Civil War II. No, I know exactly what it was: When Marvel killed off Bruce Banner during CW II and I felt absolutely nothing. Nothing. Have I gotten weepy over comics in the past? Hells yes! Am I ashamed to admit that this medium of storytelling evoked these strong emotions within? Of course not! I want comics to make me feel something for the characters and the stories that have these rich histories. And that’s just not happening anymore. Tim Drake gets killed off and I’m spoiled before I even have a chance to get to my local shop. Oh, Lois Lane of New52 Earth is killed, too? When is the next character gonna get “fridged” just to push a story along?

Then it’s the fact that all these revelations KEEP coming out about writers/artists being shitty humans and I have to base what I buy around whether or not certain people are involved. Warren Ellis is doing a new Moon Knight? Amazing! Wait, who’s taking over after his run? Welp, guess I’m not reading that anymore. Dark Horse’s Predator/Aliens runs are so cool. Oh, that dude will be taking over that series? Yep, I’m out. You say the writer of some of my favorite all-time series is making some racist comments at a con? Super! The people involved in an animated version of a DC classic are misogynist and sexist, too? Sign. Me. Up.

It’s all fucking gross and I’m done.

Is Bruce Banner gonna come back at some point? I am sure of it but at that point, will anyone care? Right now, I know I won’t.

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