Live Blog: Teen Wolf Season 4 Premiere (a.k.a., That Fucking Show About Fucking Werewolves)

We’re going to liveblog the Teen Wolf Season 4 premiere, starting at 10pm EDT. In the interim, I’m going to think about my life choices.

itsnotunusual

 

 

jesse 23 June 201411:26 pm

I meant, Teen Wolf the show=not fun

jesse 23 June 201411:25 pm

Also Teen Wolf the show=not as fun as Teen Wolf the movie

jesse 23 June 201411:25 pm

Live blogging=Not as fun as live tweeting

Regina 23 June 201411:21 pm

Okay, I didn’t hate Malia. “It’s progress!”

jesse 23 June 201411:20 pm

“I’m too old for this shit” -Roger Murtaugh

Regina 23 June 201411:19 pm

De-aged Derek is pretty common, yo. NOW DEREK IS AGE-APPROPRIATE FOR EVERYONE YAYYYYYY

Regina 23 June 201411:18 pm

OMG WHAT SCOTT OMG WHAT I’M ABOUT TO GET MY FUCKING SLIPPER AND THROW IT AT THE TELEVISION

jesse 23 June 201411:18 pm

This is like watching American Idol. With werewolves,

Regina 23 June 201411:17 pm

DON’T PUNCH DEREK IN HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!

jesse 23 June 201411:17 pm

I’M SO BORED!!!!!!

Regina 23 June 201411:17 pm

“Did they find the Ark of the Covenant?” “No, baby. kids that watch this show wouldn’t get that reference.”

jesse 23 June 201411:17 pm

Ugh

jesse 23 June 201411:16 pm

Level 23 is that hard?!?!??! I just got to 20!

Regina 23 June 201411:14 pm

“This is the worst season finale ever. Season premiere. You know what I meant, motherfucker! R-E-S-P-E-C-C! You know how to spell it, motherfucker!” – Jesse

Regina 23 June 201411:12 pm

ALL IS NOT LOST I FINALLY BEAT LEVEL 23!!!!

Regina 23 June 201411:08 pm

Seriously. HOW MANY FUCKING COMMERCIAL BREAKS CAN YOU DO, ASSHOLES.

jesse 23 June 201411:08 pm

IT’S NOT FANFICTION! IT’S REAL LIFE (In my head)

jesse 23 June 201411:07 pm

Dinosaurs. Please be dinosaurs.

Regina 23 June 201411:07 pm

Jesse is writing fanfiction, starring Chris Argent as an alcoholic who rolls up to the apartment Scott and Derek share with a bottle of whiskey and his grief beard.

Regina 23 June 201411:05 pm

They just GOT YOU TO LEAVE THE HUMANS ALONE YOU DUMMIES.

Regina 23 June 201411:03 pm

The fact that I’ve called three dialogue choices in this episode makes me think that I’ve overestimated Jeff Davis and company. And I already really set that bar low.

jesse 23 June 201411:03 pm

Jeep tool set. His tool set. Same thing.

Regina 23 June 201411:02 pm

OMG, I really want to play the rest of this round of Candy Crush, but I’ll wait, since I think Derek might show up for a hot minute.

jesse 23 June 201411:02 pm

Where’s the cougars????? Oh wait, Mama McCall.

Regina 23 June 201411:02 pm

On what planet does Stiles actually know what’s doing with that tool set? NOT THIS ONE.

jesse 23 June 201411:02 pm

Are you fucking kidding me!?!?!

Regina 23 June 201411:01 pm

WERE-JAGUARS. “WHAT.”

jesse 23 June 201411:01 pm

Jaguars?!?!?!?

Regina 23 June 201410:59 pm

“I don’t know if this is a condom commercial, or if we’re just back from a break.” “It’s a condom commercial.”

jesse 23 June 201410:57 pm

KIra and Scott were way cuter last season…or is that season whatever pt 1. So confused.

Regina 23 June 201410:56 pm

I’m sorry, Kira and Scott totally don’t have romantic chemistry. Luke and Leia all the way. Also, couldn’t Scott just have run, like, on all fours like a douche-b?

jesse 23 June 201410:56 pm

Aaaaaaand another commercial

Regina 23 June 201410:53 pm

Yes, yes, I would have pulled a Kate Argent. YES I WOULD.

Regina 23 June 201410:53 pm

Wouldn’t Gerald or Chris, like, picked up on the fact that Kate might have turned and done this themselves?!

Regina 23 June 201410:51 pm

Why do people fake drive by weaving back and forth with the steering wheel? Even a standard with no power steering doesn’t require that mess.

jesse 23 June 201410:51 pm

But hey, I completed episode 2

Regina 23 June 201410:51 pm

“What’s the Church?” “A mediocre restaurant in the Fenway that has pretty decent music and a nice bathroom.”

Regina 23 June 201410:50 pm

Wait, like, does that mean she’s going to be on his side or kill him? I AM SO CONFUSED.

Regina 23 June 201410:49 pm

Wait, that’s meant to be a plot twist? Oh-kay.

Regina 23 June 201410:47 pm

Jesse just wasted a life on a time-based level. WAH WAHHHHH.

jesse 23 June 201410:47 pm

I spent $9 on this bottle of wine and I’m wasting it on this ๐Ÿ™

jesse 23 June 201410:46 pm

BRB. Candy Crush break.

Regina 23 June 201410:45 pm

Candy Crush break. WTF.

Regina 23 June 201410:44 pm

WHAT.

Regina 23 June 201410:44 pm

LIP LICKING STILES. FML.

jesse 23 June 201410:43 pm

Did I just compare Scott to Sly???

jesse 23 June 201410:43 pm

This is like the scene in Rambo” First Blood pt. 2 except it’s Mexicans instead of Russians.

Regina 23 June 201410:43 pm

The girls look good, at least.

jesse 23 June 201410:42 pm

25 minutes in and I’m as confused as I was during most of last season.

Regina 23 June 201410:42 pm

SERIOUSLY.

Regina 23 June 201410:41 pm

Man, Kira’s make-up is ON POINT.

Regina 23 June 201410:41 pm

GRIEF BEARD!!!!!!!!!!!

Regina 23 June 201410:41 pm

Wait, can’t Kira, like, throw electricity and shit? Can’t she just throw it to the bad guys?!

jesse 23 June 201410:40 pm

Kate Argent please! WHERE’S JR FUCKING BOURNE!?!?!?!?!

Regina 23 June 201410:39 pm

“My cardigan is coming off until Derek comes on screen!” – Jesse

jesse 23 June 201410:37 pm

SHE MAKES AWESOME SOAPS!!!!

Regina 23 June 201410:37 pm

Oh, look, Jesse! It’s your favorite Honest founder, Jessica Alba!

Regina 23 June 201410:35 pm

Are we seriously not going to get Tyler Posey speaking Spanish AT ALL?! COME ON.

Regina 23 June 201410:34 pm

Wait, didn’t Derek just punch through a wall in a reinforced bank vault? COME ON, SCOTT.

Regina 23 June 201410:33 pm

“There’s something not right, I just don’t know!” IT’S DYLAN O’BRIEN’S FUCKING HAIR, GIRL.

Regina 23 June 201410:32 pm

Polite kidnappers!

jesse 23 June 201410:32 pm

I’m so confused.

Regina 23 June 201410:32 pm

Okay, wait. They kidnapped Derek, and then put the alarm on before they left.

Regina 23 June 201410:30 pm

Uh, I’m not a werewolf (OR AM I?!) and I knew that was going to be wolfsbane.

jesse 23 June 201410:29 pm

Dumb.

Regina 23 June 201410:27 pm

Just dance, gonna be okayyyy, doot doo doot doo just dance!

Regina 23 June 201410:27 pm

HEROIC MUSIC. IMPORTANT THINGS HAPPENING!

Regina 23 June 201410:25 pm

LISTEN HERE, LADY. DEREK HALE IS A HERO!

jesse 23 June 201410:24 pm

Sexual tension! Teenagers! Oh! I don’t remember SHS being like this.

Regina 23 June 201410:23 pm

OF COURSE JEFF DAVIS WENT THERE.

jesse 23 June 201410:23 pm

It would’ve been better if Scott had a creepstache. #springbreeeeaaaak

Regina 23 June 201410:22 pm

Scott is that creepy dude in the corner at the club. SURPRISE.

Regina 23 June 201410:21 pm

STILES NEVER NAME THE PRICE FIRST.

jesse 23 June 201410:20 pm

Is Danny Dj’ing this ish????

Regina 23 June 201410:20 pm

I really want to know what the casting call looked like for this dance club scene.

jesse 23 June 201410:20 pm

Remember that time last season when Stiles was a cenobite from Hellraiser?

Regina 23 June 201410:19 pm

What.

Regina 23 June 201410:19 pm

Surprise! The door closed! DON’T OPEN THE DOOR, STILES.

jesse 23 June 201410:19 pm

These are all still high school kids, right?

jesse 23 June 201410:18 pm

Didn’t The Sarah Connor Chronicles do this story once?

jesse 23 June 201410:18 pm

And now we’re in The Mexican….

Regina 23 June 201410:17 pm

I was really hoping that Stiles hair in Season 3 was a Nogitsune issue. Appears not.

Regina 23 June 201410:17 pm

Remember when Kate Argent was a badass? I do. Please don’t fuck this up, too, Jeff Davis.

Regina 23 June 201410:16 pm

Previously on Teen Wolf: ALISON ARGENT FUCKING DIED.

Regina 23 June 201410:14 pm

Oh, gosh, Derek’s face in the 3b finale end scene.

jesse 23 June 201410:07 pm

Judging from the stats, y’all are way more interested in thes Teen Wolf thing than a new stand up special from Sinbad. Good to know…

jesse 23 June 201410:06 pm

Which merits a liveblog! Gotta get the word out!

Regina 23 June 201410:04 pm

But that’s a good show!

jesse 23 June 201410:04 pm

Maybe next week we can liveblog Longmire, eh?

jesse 23 June 201410:01 pm

I’m going down in a sec. Want to make sure I get a good seat ๐Ÿ™‚ (I’ll bring the Porch Rocker, too)

Regina 23 June 201410:00 pm

Oh, no, we have to go downstairs soon to watch this shit, don’t we?

Regina 23 June 20149:56 pm

Now I’m reading Buzzfeed and learning that Hufflepuffs are apparently stoners.

jesse 23 June 20149:52 pm

Your liveblog says “no” but the face you just made says otherwise….

Regina 23 June 20149:51 pm

I don’t think JR Bourne twisting and turning his beard into little points is attractive. For the record.

jesse 23 June 20149:47 pm

Do I start in on the wine now or wait ’til the shitshow starts? #firstworldproblems #wolftrap

Regina 23 June 20149:46 pm

๐Ÿ™

jesse 23 June 20149:44 pm

You’ve wasted your real life, why not some fake ones? Universal karma.

Regina 23 June 20149:43 pm

I am not going to waste my Candy Crush lives on this fucking show.

Regina 23 June 20149:43 pm

OMG, JR Bourne’s AMA is lifeeeee! He references the grief beard! Discusses being a DILF! WHY IS HE SO CHARMING?!

jesse 23 June 20149:42 pm

Should we take bets on when I start playing candy crush during the ep?

jesse 23 June 20149:41 pm

“Outfit” meaning the hood and cape only. obvs.

Regina 23 June 20149:40 pm

Just turned on Pandora and got !!!’s “Except Death” — it’s like Nic Offer knows something I don’t.

jesse 23 June 20149:40 pm

In a red riding hood outfit no less!

Regina 23 June 20149:35 pm

Jesse just googled “stiles is sexy” and got a full-frontal manip. Gosh, I love fandom.

Regina 23 June 20149:32 pm

Tumblr provides: BoomStudios is making a Sleepy Hollow comic! YASSSSS!

Regina 23 June 20149:29 pm

Mama McCall, I love you; please stop spoiling shit on your twitter.

Regina 23 June 20149:25 pm

Tumblr seems preoccupied with the fact Benedict Cumberbatch appeared on the streets of Boston with Kennedy hair. (Still think he’s too skinny to really play Billy Bulger.) /masshole

Regina 23 June 20149:19 pm

Currently drinking coffee and trolling on Tumblr while Jesse deals with the fact that we ate at the Clam Box yesterday.

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